Stage Five: Acceptance

As a species, we’re pretty crap both at grieving and talking about grieving. It’s often a thing pushed aside, an elephant in the corner, ignored and moved around. Which is mad, as we face so many types of grief in our lives that can be truly impactful. There’s a particular spectrum of grief that comes with age milestones. I’m only recently realising that I’m mourning my twenties. Hold fire before judging here please and let me explain…

Yes, I’m heading into my fifth month of being 30 so this has taken a little while. But sometimes you can only realise the true depth of an experience or feeling when you step away from it. Furthermore, considering the emotional rollercoaster I experience pre-August 25th, this prolonged deceleration shouldn’t be such a surprise. And I’m not grieving the end of what my twenties were. I’m grieving the end of what my twenties could have been. How I thought they were going to go and how far away they ended up being from that.

This is not to moan about my lot. For I have an incredible life. My family are wonderful, as are my circle of friends. My health could be better, could be worse. I have hobbies I love and am pretty good at. There is not a single regret at where I am now and the paths I took to get there. But the bit I’m balancing internally is how the path I’m on isn’t the one I expected and arguably, due to all manner of societal pressures, isn’t the one that I envisioned at the start of my 20s.

I thought, by the age of 30, I would have experienced love. The romantic variant.

How this love looked was depicted varied over the years. At the start of my 20s, I was certain that the decade would end with home-owning child-reading with a husband. I’d gone to university expecting to meet my soulmate, so that narrative all felt totally inevitable. And yet, as the years past, I didn’t meet that person. That all-encompassing much-prophesised soulmate who would complete me didn’t come riding in on his noble stead.

Instead, in all honesty, I meet nobody. Nobody that counts. Not really. Aside from the odd arsehole who crawled out the woodwork and provided situationships that resulted in little more than demoralising disappointment and ruthless rejection.

I guess I should be thankful really. I’ve got to my big-age and my heart is intact. It has never been broken, instead it’s been a bit bruised and it’s taken a couple of dents. Which, perhaps in a rather Romantic take on it, makes me feel quite sad. Because a broken heart is a heart that has been used and taken out of the packet. It’s heart that experienced joy before the fall; that once felt alive and soaring.

Don’t get me wrong, big girls do cry – even those who haven’t been in love. Those disappointments still resulted in tears to the point of dehydration and some of the most awful moments in my life, I refuse to undersell or underacknowledge those pains I have overcome. In theory the brightest lights cast the darkest shadows, so I deeply begrudge that the darkest shadows that came from the hands of others were caused by the human equivalent of dim light bulbs.

I am incredibly appreciative of the love and joy I have from my friends and family. I have little doubt that, not matter what or who crosses the rest of however long I have left on this planet, I have a handful of friends who were some of the true great loves of my life. It almost feels disloyal to them to be asking for more.

But I hope that even though romantic love didn’t arrive in my past, it will be awaiting me in my (please, oh holy deities – near!) future. What I would give for something to counter those pangs of loneliness that arrive from not having and never have felt it. Especially as the form of that loneliness has unexpectadly shifted over the decade.

If I had a pound for every time I’ve ever said ‘I’m going to die alone’ I wouldn’t be a millionaire, but I’m pretty sure I’d have a damn nice pair of Louboutins. Sometimes it was a phrase uttered as a joke, other times (and I’m being frank and open here) whilst crying into a pillow. Or on a train or bus. Once or twice, on a park bench. Several times over several alcholoic beverages with friends.

But nowadays that feeling I link with that fear now actually arrives when I’m not alone. It arrives when I’m with friends who are in a couple. It’s not an omnipresent feeling, it’s one that arrives and disappears as suddenly as lightening. But, like thunder, it’s one that strikes at the very core and deeply echoes within. It’s for a craving of the intimacy they share, the knowledge they have their person and the certainty that comes with that. As taboo as it may be to say, I really crave that.

That’s the thing I find myself trying to find acceptance with. That’s what my five stages of grief for my twenties have been tied to: the denial that I felt so profoundly about it, the anger that ‘everyone else’ got to have that whilst I didn’t, the self-bargaining I made in how to ‘deal’ with it and the sadness at having ‘not, and never have been, feeling wanted’.

By writing this I’m trying to finally reach a degree of self-acceptance of it all. That experience isn’t one-size fits all, life cannot be predicted and that I didn’t do my twenties ‘the wrong way’.

And, I can also feel that way whilst also wanting to experience romantic love.

I don’t *need* romantic love, but I’d like to be able to give it a try. To love someone and be loved back. To have my person’s back and they have mine. I’m not looking for the centre of my solar system, I’ve formed a most-excellent one all on my own. I’m looking for another solar system to rest next to. We can sit in the rocketship, exploring our respective solar systems and the rest of the galaxy. Together.

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A Man Called Ove

(Review published in June 2017)

Carl Fredricksen from Up (2009) and the eponymous Ove (played by Rolf Lassgård) have a few things in common. They are old, pretty much on their own (through choice along with the way life has played out) and they are grumpy. Very grumpy. There’s a special word to describe characters of such ilk – curmudgeons. 59-year-old Ove may be cinema’s greatest curmudgeon yet. He’s miserable – he doesn’t care who knows it and it almost seems like he wants to spread the misery onto the masses, i.e the people who live in the same fancy housing estate he lives in. The older residents know Ove and know they are better off leaving the ex-chairman of the board of the neighbourhood associations to his own devices. If they follow his many rules, routines and regulations, there shouldn’t be any problems.

The new neighbours – an Iranian immigrant Parvenah (Pars), her Swedish husband and their two young daughters – don’t know this, however. They manage, totally inadvertently and completely unmaliciously, to break several rules as soon as they arrive. Ove does not react well. They even ask him for favours and rope him in to help them! Unlike the other residents, yet just like us, they do not know Ove’s past and what led him to being such a curmudgeon. They also do not realise, but unlike us, that they’ve just interrupted Ove’s suicide attempt…

It feels intrinsically and morally wrong to associate the adjective ‘funny’ with suicide and yet Ove’s multiple suicide attempts are somehow incredibly funny. They’ve been filmed that way. Ove may be a man desperate for a way out, and a way to be reunited with his late wife, but life has other plans in store for him, in the form of the new arrivals who have not-so-rudely interrupted him. Throughout the film, Ove tries to end his life but either Parvenah, her family, or flashbacks prevent Ove from ending his life. The world clearly isn’t ready to let him go and it’s through the flashbacks we fully begin to understand why. We bare witness to numerous key moments from Ove’s life – love, loss and everything in between. In these moments he is both the same man yet one who is vastly different. The reason for that? Sonja.

We find out in the film’s early moments that Ove’s wife died from cancer six months prior. Like yin and yang they completed each other, her tenderness smoothing out Ove’s harshness and forcing him out into a world he really wasn’t all that fond of. The utter devastation he feels at her loss is only compounded when he is fired from the company he has worked at for 43 years. He sees no reason to carry on living and it’s clear the universe is desperate to intervene. Repeatedly.

The aforementioned funny is the result of a careful blend of gallows humour, black comedy, dash of slapstick and excellent characterisation to make Ove truly endearing, even during his more pernickety moments. Over the film’s running time, courtesy of having his flashbacks juxtaposed with the present day, we get to bare witness to Ove’s greatness. We see just how extraordinary this seemingly ordinary man actually is. We realise just how kind and caring he has been and can be – it soon becomes clear there is a heart of gold behind exterior layers of steel. In fact, it would take the possessor of a heart of stone not to release more than a few tears during the moving journey through Ove’s past. The burgeoning friendship between Ove and Parvenah becomes a much needed reminder of the nature of first impressions – it’s all too easy to form a judgement from what we see on the outside looking in and that in doing so we might just miss the inner pain that person is hiding away.

The film is just like Ove himself. Quietly moving, darkly funny, sweetly tender, incredibly sincere and oh-so heartbreaking. The result is a film that is life affirming in a way that is all too rare and all too needed.

Stream On – Vol 3

Five tv and film watching suggestions on your favourite streaming sites. What more could you want? More you say? You’re so greedy – I love it! Well, here’s volume one and two.

Fire of Love (2022: Disney+: 83 mins)

Undoubtedly in my top ten films of the year, this is a sublime documentary. Boy who loves volcanoes meets girl who loves volcanoes. They fall in love, get married and spend their lives researching volcanoes, taking incredible risks to discover as much as they can about one of nature’s most destructive forces. Told only via archive footage and voiceover, with no talking heads, this is an insanely beautifully story on two levels. One, the love story that drives it and two, their footage of the volcanoes is unlike anything ever seen before. Total must-see.

Killer Sally (2022: Netflix: 3 x 50 mins)

Now onto a docuseries that is far less subtle but is still extremely compelling. Along with family and friends, former professional bodybuilder Sally McNeil charts her rocky marriage and its end in a Valentine’s Day murder. A well-constructed series, the very fact the ‘killer’ in question is at the centre of telling ‘her’ story makes for an increasingly intriguing watch.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022: Amazon Prime: 106 mins)

Nicolas Cage. Pedro Pascal. Need I say more?

County Lines (2020: BBC iPlayer: 83 mins)

One of the most essential British movies in recent years, a 14-year-old boy (Conrad Khan) is groomed into a lethal nation-wide drug-selling enterprise which exploits vulnerable children and traffics them across Britain. Simon (Harris Dickinson) is the malevolent heart of the operation. Blistering performances tell a story that writer-director Henry Blake witnessed first hand as a youth worker in a Pupil Referral Unit. For those who work alongside young people, I cannot implore you to watch this enough.

The Personal History of David Copperfield (2019: All4: 114 mins)

And now for something entirely different, an incredibly warm-hearted adaptation of Charles Dickens. Dev Patel is the eponymous character, with an insanely good ensemble cast made up of Hugh Laurie, Tilda Swinton, Peter Capaldi, Fisayo Akinade, Gwendoline Christie, Darren Boyd, Morfydd Clark and Daisy May Cooper to name but a few. Perfect watching for a Sunday afternoon, a proper comfort-watch.

Stream On Vol #2

Five tv and film watching suggestions on your favourite streaming sites. As I write, the weather is incredibly miserable and the want to do anything but watch telly is low – so why not check out these things you may have missed? Not enough for you? Here’s volume one.

Reboot (2022: Disney+: 8 x 30 mins)

With all the recent reboots of beloved sitcoms, it’s no surprise we’ve now got a show about a rebooted sitcom. Thankfully this one is pretty good too! In the mid-noughties Keegan-Michael Key, Johnny Knoxville and Judy Greer were the biggest stars on TV – until they show got cancelled. 15 years later, they’re making a comeback – courtesy of impassioned showrunner Rachel Bloom. With only 8 episodes in its first season, this feels like a grower not a show-er. But, with some great gags and plotting, this is a charming one-to-watch.

SAS: Rogue Heroes (2022: BBC iPlayer: 6 x 60 mins)

How do you follow up Peaky Blinders? Well, apparently you make a show about the creation of the SAS. Any doubt or confusion you have as to why this is a natural progression will be shattered in the first 5 minutes. Because these men are as wild as Tommy ‘fucking’ Shelby and co. It’s 1941 and the possibility of Great Britain losing the war seems to be increasing every day. And so a couple of men decide to come with a ‘little experiment’ involving parachutes. Witty, funny and very violent, it’s the lead trio of Connor Swindells, Jack O’Connell and Alfie Allen that really give this its edge. Airing every on BBC1 every Sunday in it’s prime 9pm slot, all six episodes are already on iPlayer if you can’t wait.

The Bastard Son & The Devil Itself (2022: Netflix: 8 x 30 mins)

As a *massive* fan of Being Human, it feels like it’s been too long since we’ve had a Brit-based fantasy drama. Just like Being Human, we have impeccable building of both world and lore, a great cast – particularly Jay Lycurgo, who is going to be a star – and it’s regularly laugh-out-loud funny. This world of witchcraft is also really appealing because of how effectively it moves along, it’s extremely pacey – more things happen in an episode that entire series of some shows.  It’s not yet been renewed for season two, so please join me in watching and championing it!

See How They Run (2022: Disney+: 99 mins)

Never has a film been so perfectly made for a lazy Sunday afternoon in the rainy time. As a mega Agatha Christie-superfan, I was always going to be here for this. In the West End of 1950s London, plans for a movie version of a smash-hit play come to an abrupt halt after a pivotal member of the crew is murdered. Sam Rockwell is the curmudgeonly lead detective in charge of breaking the case, Saoirse Ronan the unexperienced officer who gets assigned to shadow him. Beautiful costumes and setting, with a story told with so much charm. As my Welsh Grandma would say, ‘S’lovely!’

Velvet Goldmine (1998: Netflix: 119 mins)

Heh heh heh. You there! Do you like David Bowie? How about Iggy Pop? Now, how do you feel about seeing a heavily stylised fictionalised film about their lives? In 1984, Arthur Stuart (Christian Bale) is the journalist writing an article about the withdrawal from public life of 1970s glam rock star Brian Slade (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) following a death hoax ten years earlier. He’ll discover the role Curt Wild (Ewan McGregor) had to play in proceedings. Directed by Todd Haynes, this film is camptstic and so delicious. In case you were wondering, the title comes from this Bowie song – Bowie refused the rights to six of his songs being used in this film and after seeing it said “When I saw the film I thought the best thing about it was the gay scenes. They were the only successful part of the film, frankly.”

Stream On #1

Right, as I’ve been failing with posting on Wednesdays – lets give Stream On, posted every Sunday, a go! Here’s five recommendations of film and telly that might tickle your fancy. And, if you’re a fellow teacher, may serve as a distraction from the looming back-to-school dread. Not enough for you here? Check out my previous posts here.

The Bear (2022: Disney+: 8 episodes)

Carmy (Jeremy Allen White) is used to working in the finest restaurants in the world. But, after the sudden death of his brother, he finds himself back in Chicago running his brother’s sandwich shop. A comedy drama that is able to do both tense seriousness and joyful humour, genuinely one of the finest shows this year.

A Friend of the Family (2022: Sky/NOW: 9 episodes, 6 aired so far)

In an incredibly unusual move, this true story opens with a direct to camera address from the woman at the centre of the story, Jan Broberg, who calmly informs us that what we are about to see is true from a time very different to our own – the 1970s. Over a period of a few years, Jan was kidnapped on multiple occasions by a family friend. Jake Lacy plays him in all his charismatic horror. Colin Hanks and Anna Paquin are wonderfully understated as Jan’s lost parents. Hendrix Yancey and Mckenna Grace are incredible as younger and slightly older Jan. A mind-boggling story that has to be seen to be believed. New episodes drop every Friday.

The Peripheral (2022: Amazon: 8 episodes, 3 aired so far)

If you’re looking for your next hit of sci-fi, you’ve come to the right place. Based on a novel by the legend that is William Gibson, Flynne Fisher (Chloë Grace Moretz) lives in a future not too dissimilar from our own. She and her brother Burton (Jack Reynor) are doing all they can to look after their ill mother – their main revenue being participating in virtual games. However, Flynne quickly discovers there’s more truth than fiction in their latest acquisition. Impecable world-building, I can’t wait to see how this pans out. New episodes drop every Friday.

The Vow (2022: Sky/Now: season 1 = 9 episodes, season 2 = 11 episodes, 2 aired so far)

The Vow was one of the most jaw-dropping true crime docuseries we’d had in years, as the self-improvement group NXIVM imploded, with charges including sex trafficking and racketeering conspiracy brought against its highest members and founder Keith Raniere. Season two now sees Keith’s trial fully under way, as we continue to pick through the wreckage of the group. Another one that has to be seen to be believed. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Wendell & Wild (2022: Netflix: 105 mins)

Henry Selick’s first movie since 2009’s Coraline. His fifth stop-motion masterpiece. A collaboration with Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele. Arriving Halloween weekend. Dropped with next-to-no fanfare. Let’s see if we can rectify that! Two scheming demon brothers, Wendell (Key) and Wild (Peele), enlist the aid of 13-year-old Kat Elliot (Lyric Ross) to summon them to the Land of the Living. A stop-motion animation treat aimed for 9 years+.

What To Watch Wednesday #8

I’m sure there’s theory for it, but when it gets darker and colder – I crave crime-related telly. If you’re the same, then this week’s 6 picks are for you….

Here’s What To Watch Wednesday #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7.

Slow Horses (Apple TV+: 2022: 6 x 50 mins)

River Cartwright (Jack Lowden) was an up-and-coming MI5 Agent until he made a serious mistake during a live training exercise, and found himself relegated to dead end work at Slough House. Ruled over by the curmudgeonly Jackson Lamb (Gary Oldman), it’s usually the home of dead end missions – until something dangerous comes headed quickly their way. The stacked cast also includes Olivia Cooke, Kristin Scott Thomas and Jonathon Pryce – to name but a few. An excellent addition to the espionage genre.

Inside Man (BBC iPlayer: 2022: 4 x 60 mins – two episodes shown so far)

Speaking of stacked cast, we turn here to David Tennant, Dolly Wells, Lydia West and Stanley Tucci fronting this intriguingly intricate crime drama. Tucci plays Jefferson Grieff – a law lecturer turned criminal on death row. His unique skillset has people turning to him to solve crimes. Lydia West plays Beth Davenport, a journalist who’s come to interview Jefferson and is also planning to use the opportunity to ask for his help with finding new friend Janice (Wells) who was last seen going to tutor the son of Rev Harry Watling (Tennant). Pulpy and properly compelling.

Am I Being Unreasonable? (BBC iPlayer: 2022: 6 x 30 mins)

The show’s title comes from the message board of the infamous Mumsnet, an online forum where mums around the world vent about their lives – which inspired Daisy May Cooper during her own unhappy marriage that she went on to co-write a show with her best friend Seline Hizli. Nic is depressed and mourning the secret lover her oblivious husband (Dustin Demri-Jones) knows nothing about. Lonely and isolated, Nic makes friends with a new school mum. Jen (Hizli) is unlike all the other mums in the village, and her friendship quickly becomes everything Nic has ever wanted – except it seems like Jen isn’t all that she appears… Savagely funny and dark as anything, a special mention has to go to young actor Lenny Rush who is incredible as Nic’s son.

Sicario (Netflix: 2015: 121 mins)

Taylor Sheridan has written some of the most underappreciated crime movies of the 21st Century, a run that kicked off with this film. Add in the iconic director Denis Villeneuve at the helm. Round it off with cast members Emily Blunt, Josh Brolin, Benico Del Toro, Daniel Kaluuya and Jon Bernthal – I don’t think I need to say much more aside from the fact you need to be prepared for this dark and murky thriller.

Cruel Summer (Prime Video:2021: 10 x 45 mins)

In the summer of 1993 Jeanette Turner (Chiara Aurelia) was nerdy and invisible. In summer 1994 she was the most popular girl in school. By 1995, the loser outcast. Over the course of the ten episodes we hop between the three years as things begun to become more apparent. Whilst it clearly has something to do with the disappearance of beloved Kate Wallis (Olivia Holt), how exactly is Jeanette involved? Deviously twisty and turny.

Romcom of the week – While You Were Sleeping (Disney+: 1995: 103 mins)

The fun thing about this film is, it’s on the cusp of creepy and it’s down to the charm of the leads that it really isn’t and ends up being one of the finest romantic comedies of the 90s. A hopelessly romantic Chicago Transit Authority token collector (Sandra Bullock) has been lusting over commuter Peter (Peter Gallagher) for as long as she can remember. When an accident occurs, and Peter ends up in a coma, she finds herself being mistaken as his fiancée. Enamoured with his close-knit family, she decides to play the role – although a growing connection with his brother Jack (Bill Pullman) may just jeopardise everything. I know, just trust me with this one. If you’re not sure, Bill Pullman as a plaid lumberjack shirt wearing grumpy love interest should be reason enough.

What-To-Watch #7

Autumn is in in air! So, this week, let’s adds some pumpkin spice to proceedings – here’s 5 autumnal (or autumnal adjacent!) treats for you.

Here’s What To Watch Wednesday #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6.

Ghosts (2019-: BBC: 24 x 30 mins)

With series 4 in its entirety having just dropped on BBC iPlayer, it’s the perfect time to get watching the finest British sitcom from this century so far. First Alison (Charlotte Ritchie) inherits a mansion in the countryside, then an accident results in her being able to see the ghosts who reside within it – except everyone else, including her husband Mike (Kiell Smith-Bynoe) can’t see them. By the team behind Horrible Histories and Yonderland, this is British comedy at its finest – each episode is so well crafted and packed full of laughs.

If you like this, you might like: Yonderland (2013-2015), Inside No.9 (2014-)

Minx (2022-: Paramount+: 30 mins – 4 episodes aired currently)

This one is set in LA so it’s not traditionally autumnal, but there’s something about Jake Johnson in 70s get-up that feels autumn… somehow. Anyway, Joyce (Ophelia Lovibond) is a proud and earnest feminist who wants to start a magazine. Low-rent publisher Doug (Jake Johnson) is the only person open to funding it, and thus the first erotic magazine for women is born! There’s so many reasons to watch this, from the crisp script to the incredible rapport between Lovibond & Johnson. Be warned – this isn’t nesscarily one to watch with under 18s or your parents. If you don’t believe me, there’s a dong-tage during episode one that will clear things up…

If you like this, you might like: Loot (2022-), Kevin Can Fuck Himself (2021-)

Industry (2020-: BBC: 16 x 50 mins)

We left season one on some massive cliffhangers in 2020, and now season two is here. There’s something about autumn that has us craving crime & melodrama – we can live vicariously through their self-sabotage and disaster – this show has that covered and then some as we follow young bankers and traders make their way in the financial world in the aftermath of the 2008 collapse. Delicious.

If you like this, you might like: The Dropout (2022), Succession (2018-)

Gilmore Girls (2000-07-: Netflix: 154 x 44 mins)

It would be amiss of me not to mention the most autumnal show that has and will ever exist. Loreali Gilmore (Lauren Graham) was 16 when she had her daughter Rory, leaving behind her well-off family and abandoning the plans they had for her. Now 16, Rory (Alexis Bledel) has been offered a place at the best school in the state – but Lorelai needs her parents help to make Rory’s dream happen. That’s the starting point for it all. No show does Autumn as well at this one, nor has set an impossible bar for men as high as Scott Patterson’s Luke Danes…

If you like this, you might like: Jane The Virgin (2014-19), Ugly Betty (2006-10)

Romcom of the week: About Time (2013: Netflix: 123 mins)

I’ve got quite a low-tolerance for Richard Curtis movies and am firmly in the anti-Love Actually camp. This one, however, is my kryptonite. Tim (Domhnall Gleeson) felt that he was failing at life, until aged 21 when he discovers an inherited ability to travel back in time – allowing him all manner of redoes. He thinks getting a girlfriend will change everything, and Mary (Rachel McAdams) does – but maybe not in the manner he expects… MVP has to be Bill Nighy as Tim’s father. Funny, heartfelt and profound.  

What-To-Watch Wednesday #6

What To Watch Wednesday #5

After a break last week – due to personal, not national, reasons – W2W is back. 5 recommendations of underseen gems on your favourite streaming services

Here’s What To Watch Wednesday #1, #2, #3, #4 and #5)

Hacks (2021-: Prime Video: 19 x 35 mins)

Deborah Vance (Jean Smart) is one of the most faces and names in comedy. Her long-running residency in Las Vegas is renowned, even if her material is no longer as fresh as it used to be. That’s where Ava (Hannah Einbinder) steps in, when a professional crisis has her fleeing LA in desperate search of a job. Their shared agent Jimmy (Paul W.Downs) thinks this could be the start of a mutually beneficial partnership, but he’s already got enough on his plate in the form of his chaotic assistant Kayla (Megan Statler). Darkly funny and totally must-see.

If you like this, you might like: Broad City (2014-2019), The Marvellous Mrs Maisel (2017-)

Abbott Elementary (2021-: Disney+: 13 x 23 mins)

The finest sitcom on tv currently, it feels sure to go down in TV history for all the best reasons. By and starring writer-creator Quinta Brunson, she plays Janine – one of a group of teachers who are brought together in one of the worst public schools in the country, simply because they love teaching. Grounded in the experiences by Brunson’s own teacher mother, this teacher-writer gives it the full double thumbs up here.

If you like this, you might like: Superstore (2015-2021), Great News (2017-2018)

We’re Here (2020-: Sky/Now: 14 x 50 mins)

Drag brings people together. It also has the ability to pull people out of their comfort zones and find their voices, as is encouraged here by Bob the Drag Queen, Eureka and Shangela as they travel the country visiting small-town residents and encouraging to own the stage in a lip sync extravaganza.

If you like this, you might like: Queer Eye (2018-), Glow Up (2019-)

Only Murders In The Building (2021-: Disney+: 20 x 35 mins)

Long-time friends Martin Short and Steve Martin have an incredible rapport, as showcased here in this murder mystery with a difference. They play Oliver Putman and Charles-Haden Savage, respectively. Both residents of an affluent Upper West Side apartment building, a shared love of true crime podcasts finds them teaming up with Mabel Mora (Selena Gomez) to solve the murder of one of their neighbours. Funny and carefully crafted, there’s nothing like it on TV right now.

If you like this, you might like: The Flight Attendant (2020-), Barry (2018-)

Romcom of the week: Marry Me (2022: Sky/Now: 111 mins)

Global pop superstar Kat Valdez (Jennifer Lopez) ends up married to a stranger, divorced maths teacher Charles (Owen Wilson), after finding out her actual fiancée has been cheating on her. Determined to not become a laughingstock in the press, Kat persuades Charles to carry on their fake-marriage until the attention is no longer upon them. Bet you can guess what happens next… CINEMA!

What To Watch Wednesday #5

Right. Start of September. It’s getting darker quicker, the world starts to feel a little smaller, scarier and bleaker. You need some comfort telly, which I am more than happy to provide!

Here’s What To Watch Wednesday #1, #2, #3 and #4.

Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022: Prime Video: 139 mins)

An aging Chinese immigrant (Michelle Yeoh) is swept up in an insane adventure, in which she alone can save the world by exploring other universes connecting with the lives she could have led. One of the most profound and moving sci-fi films I’ve ever seen, as well as being mental and a lot of fun.

If you like this, you might like: The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022), Minari (2020)

Paper Girls (2022: Prime video: 8 x 40 mins)

What if your preteen self, collided with your early 40s self? On Hell Day 1988, whilst doing their paper round, four girls unwittingly time travel to 2019. While searching for a way home, they come face-to-face with their adult selves and learn how to work together to save the world. Thought-provoking and endearing sci-fi.

If you like this, you might like: A League of Their Own (2022-), The Umbrella Academy (2019-)

Son of Rambow (2007: Netflix: 96 mins)

During a long English summer in the early 1980s, two schoolboys from differing backgrounds (Bill Milner & Will Poulter)  set out to make a film inspired by First Blood. One of the most delightful things you could ever possibly show your eyeballs.

If you like this, you might like: Submarine (2010), Boy (2010)

Drag SOS (2019: Netflix: 6 x 45 mins)

Drag collective The Family Gorgeous help unlikely protégées to unlock their long-lost confidence and become bolder, braver drag-enhanced versions of themselves. Wonderful feelgood telly.

If you like this, you might like: Queer Eye (2018-), We’re Here (2020-)

Romcomdram of the week: The Edge of Seventeen (2016: Netflix & BBC iPlayer: 97 mins)

When this film arrived, it felt like it could be heralded return of the impeccable teen movie. Whilst a few others folded, they didn’t equal this one. High school misfit Nadine (Hailee Steinfeld) only has one friend, Krista (Haley Lu Richardson), an older brother who has always eclipsed her and a crush on a boy who doesn’t knows she exists. Life is unbearable, but at least she has an ambivalent teacher (Woody Harrelson) to listen to her complaints… A proper coming of age story that isn’t afraid to show teen years for how crappy they really are.

What To Watch Wednesday #4

I don’t usually do a theme to one of these posts, but the last day of the summer holidays felt like it warranted a theme. So, this week’s edition is feelgood films – six (I know, giving you a bonus one this week!) films that are chicken soup for the soul. For all you teachers out there, good luck with the new academic year…

Here’s What To Watch Wednesday #1, #2 and #3.

The Way, Way Back (2013: Disney+ & Amazon Prime: 104 mins)

It’s always been 14 year-old Duncan (Liam James) and his mum, Pam (Toni Collette), against the world, but her overbearing new boyfriend, Trent (Steve Carell), is having none of that. Trent takes the pair, along with his daughter, to stay at his summer home to trial at being a family, where a chance encounter with water theme park manager Owen (Sam Rockwell) may just be the thing to help Duncan find his place in the world. The incredible ensemble is rounded out by Alison Janney, Maya Rudolph, Amanda Peet, Rob Corddry, Nat Faxon and Jim Rash – the pair making their debut as co-writers and co-directors.

If you like this, you might like: Kings of Summer (2013), Hearts Beat Loud (2018)

Instant Family (2018: ALL4: 119 mins)

Inspired by the real adoption experiences of writer-director Sean Anders, a married couple Pete (Mark Whalberg) and Ellie (Rose Byrne) decide to foster three siblings – Lizzy (Isabela Merced), Juan (Gustavo Escobar) and Lita (Julianna Gamiz). A real surprise when it came out, a film as full of laughs as it is heart.

If you like this, you might like: Blockers (2018), Game Night (2018)

What We Do In The Shadows (2014: BBC iPlayer & Amazon Prime: 86 mins)

If you’ve not seen this already, or the spin-off show now in it’s fourth season, ‘Where the bloody hell have you been?’ It’s fine though, we can get that fixed now – and in less than 90 minutes too! A mockumentary following four flatmates who live in Wellington, New Zealand. Viago (Taika Waitit), Vladislav (Jermaine Clement), Deacon (Jonathon Brugh), and Petyr (Ben Fransham) also happen to be vampires. Saying any more would be a spoiler, suffice to say what follows is very, very funny.

If you like this, you might like: Hunt For The Wilderpeople (2016), This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

Good Vibrations (2012: Disney+ & MUBI & Britbox: 111 mins)

Based on a true story, Belfast punk impresario Terri Hooley (Richard Dormer) becomes the unlikely leader of a motley band of kids and punks, who join him in his mission to bring his city back to life. If you’re a fan of Teenage Kicks by the Undertones, you’re going to want to see this. Jodie Whittaker plays his long-suffering wife with Adrian Dunbar, Liam Cunningham and Dylan Moran also playing supporting roles. Packed full of riotous heart and soul, there’s a sequence here that never fails to make me flood with happy tears.

If you like this, you might like: Ali & Ava (2022), Sing Street(2016)

Pride (2014: Disney+ & Amazon Prime & Netflix: 120 mins)

In 1984, gay activist Mark Ashton (Ben Schnetzer) realised that the brutal attention of the police had shifted from the gay community and onto the miners’ strikes. Striking to prevent colliery closures that would destroy small communities throughout the United Kingdom, they faced an onslaught both in press and in person that was all-to-familiar to Mark and his friends. This was the start of beautiful friendship – two marginalised groups finding each other- and thus ‘Lesbians and Gays Support The Miners’ (LGSM) was formed. Not only is the most joyful film in existence, listen up for its cast – George MacKay, Andrew Scott, Joe Gilgun, Freddie Fox, Dominic West, Paddy Considine, Jessie Cave, Imelda Staunton and Bill Nighy. It’s just so bloody lovely.

 If you like this, you might like: Kinky Boots (2005), Rocketman (2019)

Romcomdram of the week: The Lunchbox (2013: Disney+: 104 mins)

An unlikely mistake by a tiffin carrier service results in Ila’s (Nimrat Kaur) tiffin, that was made for her husband, being delivered to Irrfan (Saajan Fernandes). An unusual correspondence soon develops between the two. A tale of love, loss and longing – simply beautiful.