Charlotte Sometimes

Go On Ahead

Posted on December 31, 2024 by Charlotte_Sometimes

On Christmas Day my brother and I went for a run. This was a monumental thing for two reasons. 1) If you’d asked me the previous Christmas to even just go on a short walk, I would have declined. Noooo, thank you! A run? Total madness! However, having started running in February, my hate-love-hate affair with running is one of the most significant relationships I’ve had this year. 2) I’d essentially emotionally blackmailed my brother into running with me. I’m slower than him and was aiming for a shorter distance. He was also in charge of the roast potatoes (which were exceptional btw) so was short on the time a run with me would actually require. However, I’d made him feel sorry enough for me that it was happening – although not enough to wear the Christmas hats…

So, we set off for a run. There’s a photo and everything. Except, 100m in I realised that even though it was Christmas Day, Santa/The Gods Of Running, had not gifted me with enough fuel in the tank for today’s run. Especially not at the fast (for me) extremely slow (for Matt) pace that we had agreed on. And so, loving and self-sacrificial sister that I am, I told him to go on without me. Whilst I was determined to complete my run, I didn’t want to slow him down any further and knew I’d need to focus on myself to get there. After double checking that I was sure, he set off and I carried on my crawl – now with headphones blasting my Musical Theatre Running playlist (DM if you want to listen…)

A few minutes later, as the route became slightly steeper, I could see Matt in the distance. Near enough to see, but definitely far beyond my capacity to reach. It made me feel sorry for myself, that I try so hard at running only to remain totally adequate. Then, as these things do spiral, I started to thing about how often I felt like this in my day-to-day life, failing to catch up with others as they’re far ahead of me.

Aged 32, it regularly feels that I’ve fallen behind my peers. I’m single and very much stuck in the trenches of dating. I rent a room out and am far from owning my home, especially one in the city I love. I have mixed feelings about my job and whether it’s what I’m meant to do. I love writing, but I’m currently no further with it on a professional level than I was a decade ago. I taunt myself with the idea of writing a book, but consistently talk myself out of it and the various ideas I have. And let’s not even go there with the literal biological ticking clock and if/when/how I want kids.

Just as I watched my brother literally run on ahead, I am watching him and so many of my loved ones do the same metaphorically. As my friends increasingly couple up and make these huge personal leaps, I’m thrilled for them and the abundance of love in the world. But sometimes I also feel really sad about it too, unsure of my choices and whether I’ve made the right turns, melancholy at the pit stops they are passing that feel so out of my own reach.

On my run, as I continued to wallow and brood, a more logical thought arrived. My brother and I were going to the same place. Eventually, different routes and times aside, we would both return to our parents’ house. One of us might return having explored more (him) whereas the other totally knackered (me) we may have gone on separate journeys, but we’d eventually end up home. We were headed in the same direction, each making our own achievements – they would just look different from each other.

Lambasting my choices, being sad for the reasons touched upon in my Dating Unwrapped, and being self-piteous that a reciprocal romantic relationship hasn’t arrived yet (touch wood, fingers crossed, eating 12 grapes on NYE etc…) doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen and it doesn’t make my own personal journey any less valid. My route doesn’t necessarily look like that which my friends are undertaking, it may not look how I always imagined or hoped, but it doesn’t make it less beautiful or exciting or fulfilling. And, all being well, I’ve only just started getting going on this adventure; who knows what’s on the horizon!

Carrie Bradshaw was 32 at the start of Sex In The City.

Lorelai Gilmore was 32 at the start of Gilmore Girls.

Bridget Jones was 32 at the start of Bridget Jones Diary.

Baby, my story is just getting started.

2024: Dating Unwrapped

Posted on December 19, 2024 by Charlotte_Sometimes

Well. There’s only two weeks left of 2024 so I’m pretty safe in writing this now! Well. What a year 2024 has been for me and my dating life. Like all classic tragedies, it’s rather conveniently followed a three-act structure.

Act one – Back on the apps after taking a year off. Catfished by my first match. Loads of dates – dates that were either awful or perfectly fine. Tried out a couple of dating events, and even got banned by an entire company due to this review.
Act two – had a fantastic talking stage with someone I was really compatible with. Was really looking forward to a summer of love and dates, got stood up and ghosted on the day of our third date.
Act three – met someone I thought was really brilliant and had the best connection I’ve ever had with someone I’ve dated. I’d never laughed so much with someone, felt so at ease and comfortable with being myself. I lowered my walls and let him in, carving a space in my life for him and looked forward to the exciting possibilities of the future. Nearing three months in, I landed from a flight and took my phone off airplane mode to a text saying that he didn’t see how a relationship with me could work out.

It would be an extreme understatement to say being sad in December is pants. Properly pants. It’s like having a film of grey over everything, trudging through sludge, navigating a forest of looming what-ifs and might-have-beens whilst fighting the urge just to sink in the quicksand and give up. Aside from listening to my Melancholy Christmas playlist and being stuck in my feels, I’m trying to establish the positives from this year and what I’ve learnt moving forward.

Lesson #1: I am capable of love.

A couple of years ago I wrote this piece, how I felt like I’d not had the opportunity to take my heart out of the packet and feel romantic love. This year I got to experience almost-love. Turns out, revelatory statement coming up, it’s pretty damn good when things are going well – and awful when things aren’t working out. After starting to fear that maybe I wasn’t capable of feeling this way, or maybe that I’d never get to experience it, it was incredible to have a taster. Incredible to know what it could be like to be known and held and cared for, and be able to feel those things for someone else. I was able to be brave and communicate those feelings to another person and, whilst they weren’t reciprocated by said person (or technically even acknowledged…) there’s an empowerment in knowing I can do it and a hope that next time I’m in that situation, those feelings will be returned and appreciated.

Lesson #2: My needs

I understand more about what I want and need from someone else romantically. Crucially, I have a better understating of compromise versus self-sacrifice. Throughout this year there have been times where I have put my life on hold because I felt like I was in a limbo, waiting for the other person to make decisions. Whilst I think there’s always part of me that will do this, because I think that’s just the way my brain works when I care and am invested in something or someone, I also know that I can’t just hit the pause button on my own life as someone works through what role they will allow me to play in theirs.

Lesson #3: Room for love

Friends joke that I’m the busiest person they know, that I’m always doing things and seeing people. I didn’t really help counter that by picking up two new hobbies this year – running and choir. I live in London and want to make the most of that as possible by going to all the things – theatre, comedy, gigs, book events, cinema, dinners. You name it, I’ll give it a try. At times I’ve worried that maybe I do ‘too’ much’, that it was stopping me meeting my person or that, should I meet them, I wouldn’t have time or space for them. This year has demystified that and proven that actually, if I care about that person and want to make time for them, I can and will carve space out in my life for that person. It doesn’t mean I have to stop doing things or stop being me, it just means communicating and planning ahead. I’m now able to reframe my tendency to do all the things not as a bad thing, but as something that is actually really cool and appealing to the right person. Life with me will *never* be boring.

Lesson #4: Facts not feelings

The – numerous – negative moments this year have, at times, resulted in some real self-doubts and negative thinking. The stand-out thoughts have included ‘There must be something wrong with you. That’s why they don’t want to stay.’ and ‘You don’t deserve love.’ and ‘You’re never going to find anyone. You’re going to die alone and unwanted.’ These catchy numbers have played unwanted residencies and outstayed their respective welcomes. Whilst there have been some massive disappointments this year, there is no factual evidence for these thoughts. Whilst my overthinking superpower means I have replayed everything that has happened this year roughly 456848484 times, I cannot keep focusing on the what-ifs or coulda shoulda woulda dones. Instead I’m trying to focus on what nexts. There have been some deliciously delightful moments this year where I have felt happier than I’ve ever known as I’ve connected with another person. I’ve felt them once, I need to have faith they’ll happen again.

Lesson #5: Community

My deepest, darkest fear is that I am unlovable and that’s why I am not in a relationship. This year’s romantic experiences haven’t exactly helped counter that worry. However, when I truly reflect on my life, using facts not feelings and logic brain, it’s a bit daft I think that isn’t it? The events of this year – the good, the bad and the ugly – have really shown me that I have an army of friends and family. A rolodex of the kindest, most empathic and supportive people a girl could ask for. A committee of exceptional people who have celebrated the joys and commiserated the disappointments. The daily check-ins, messages and voice notes, the memes and TikToks, the being taken out for adventures and listening me talk over the same thing for the 1000th time – I am so bloody lucky to have you all in my life. Surely I wouldn’t have this support network, this wonderful infrastructure of cheerleaders and coaches and companions, if I was unlovable? I need to be kinder to myself, accept and believe that the rejections I’ve experienced are not a reflection of me being awful but a result of timing and compatibility. Whilst some events from this year have made me feel so bitterly lonely, adrift in Noah’s Arc like an rejected Orangutan who didn’t find someone to travel in two-by-two with, I’ve never felt alone – I have a community of loved ones that would never allow me to feel that way. A relationship hasn’t happened yet, but that doesn’t mean it never will. And, when it finally does, what a wonderful world I have curated for them to join and take part in.

2024, thank you for the memories and the trauma.

2025, I cannot wait to see how this turns out.

Culture Bites #2

Posted on November 23, 2024 by Charlotte_Sometimes

I’m back again. You’re back again. I love this for us! Here’s this week’s round-up of things I’ve seen, done and read – hope you enjoy. (Don’t be afraid of messaging and letting me know if you do like this new format, after months of being unable to write – I could do with the affirmation!)

Film: Better Man (Out in the UK December 26th)

When the director Michael Gracey (The Greatest Showman) heard Robbie Williams’ self-reflection about his career and how it felt like being ‘dragged up on stage to perform like a monkey’ – he knew the idea for his new project. And so we have a musical biopic like no other, where Robbie Williams (providing voiceover and vocals) tells us his life story, where he appears as a monkey. The brilliant thing is, that is never explained or addressed in the film. He has human family, human partners and does everything a human boy then man would do – he just happens to be a monkey. It’s simultaneously an exceptionally on-the-nose allegory and yet is oddly subtle, wonderfully entertaining, unexpectedly profound and at times immensely moving – a combination which sums up the man, myth, legend himself. Flying through it’s over two hour runtime, we learn about Robbie’s difficult relationship with his dad and how it shaped him – for better and way worse. We watch the multiple rises and falls, the glorious highs and bitterly dark lows; along with some vital reflection on addiction, mental health, masculinity and imposter syndrome. Williams is an open and honest tour guide to his past, unafraid to tell us his thoughts and admit his own mistakes. It’s closest comparison would be Elton John’s Rocketman, both films able to balance being exposing yet entertaining. Really cannot wait to see this again! [4.5/5 stars]

TV: Boybands Forever (3 x 60 mins docuseries on BBC iPlayer now)

A fantastic inadvertent companion piece to Better Man, as Robbie is one of the man talking heads who features, with episode one especially being about Take That and the struggles that went on under the surface. Covering the just-over a decade where boybands dominated the teenage hearts and music charts of the nation, we get to hear from the people who were at the centre of the madness – the ‘boys’ themselves, the music men responsible for the machinations of machine that curated them and the press who lauded and lambasted them. The result is a fascinating and extraordinarily insightful re-examining that shows both how far we have come as a society and also how, still, not nearly enough is being done to protect budding popstars from the shark-infested waters they get thrown in. [5/5 stars]

Gladiator II' Review: Ridley Scott's sequel with Superb Ensemble Cast

Film: Gladiator II (Out now)

It’s the obvious opener to this mini review, to rhetorically propose ‘are you not entertained’ by Gladiator II? The answer is, mostly entertained. Pretty much entertained. Does the job entertained. Running at 158 minutes, the film maintains interest at a steady pace – there are much shorter films that feel far longer. But, it’s not the kind of film you’ll be thinking about after, not like it’s iconic predecessor. That’s because it feels like it’s treading a lot of the same paths as it’s older sibling, but less potently. Considering the amount of deaths that occur, even within the film’s opening sequence alone, it’s surprisingly bloodless – until the odd surprise here and there. Instead of the powerhouse central lead that Russell Crowe provided, we’re split between the loyalties of two perfectly decent – if under characterised and slightly unremarkable – figures (Paul Mescal and Pedro Pascal). The entertainment, perhaps unsurprisingly, comes from our villains. Denzel Washington especially seems to be having a blast, hamming it up panto style as a plotting Iago-esque figure who steals every scene he’s in – no mean feat considering how clunky the majority of the dialogue is. Solid, if overly broody. [3.5/5 stars]

Book: The People on Platform 5 by Clare Pooley (Out now – currently 99p on Kindle!!!)

Stories about Found Families, and/or when an unlikely community have to come together to overcome difficult circumstances – those bad boys are my kryptonite. When the world feels bleaker, darker and scarier near-enough by the day, why wouldn’t you want to read a book where hope prevails in the fact of love & unswerving support? Having loved How To Age Disgracefully (in my top 5 releases of 2024) I was optimistic I’d like this one too, thankfully I was very right in that thinking. Short chapters, told from alternating character points-of-view, is ideal when coming out a reading slump – especially when the characters are this developed and delightful. We first meet Iona, an aging former IT girl who is clinging to her job as a magazine advice columnist. Every day she boards the 8.05 train to Waterloo, following the exact same routines, ascribing a nickname to her fellow commuters. When a near-death experience brings a group of them together, with Iona as the unexpected centre, they all come to realise that reality is often far more brilliant than the assumptions we might make. Delightfully life-affirming. [5/5 stars]

Film: Wicked (In cinemas worldwide now)

Am I intentionally burying this review at the bottom because I’m afraid it will cause a scandal? No comment. I acknowledge that this is a film that is both tailor-made for me (because I love musicals, all things camp, fantasy and gorgeous costumes) but also isn’t for me in the slightest (I have no real affection or connection to the story, I saw the stage show for the first and last time 8 years ago and thought it was perfectly fine). Aside from having Defying Gravity on my musical theatre running playlist, I don’t really know the soundtrack either. I did, however, go into the film open-minded if sceptical about the runtime. This 161 minute long film is part one of the story, which takes you up to the interval in the stage show. The stage show, in total, is 165 minutes long.

How wisely that additional amount of time is spend will depend on your overall affinity with the show, for fans this is undoubtedly an invaluable opportunity to spend even longer in this magical world you have adored from afar for so long. It certainly is immersive, the set design and costumes are beautiful. Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo are fantastic leads, both performances have a real sense of nuance and characterisation, even if their press tour has been side-eye inducing to say the least. Jonathan Bailey is phenomenal as Fiyero, the man has so much charisma he could impregnate a wall just by looking at it. But, where I get unstuck is the story and some of the dialogue. Without the years of nostalgia, I found myself unable to truly get on board for this adventure. [3/5 stars]

Culture Bites #1

Posted on November 15, 2024 by Charlotte_Sometimes

Right. I’ve had the worst writer’s block I’ve ever had and it’s been several months I’ve written anything. As I’m writing it, I’m impressed I’m even managing to write this. This is my first blog post since May. Madness. So, after a very productive chat with my dad, I’ve come up with this hopeful antidote. Every week I see and do a lot of things, so instead of a big ol’ review for each – I’m going to try and do a weekly recap my adventures through mini reviews. Hopefully they’ll be useful to you, beloved and generous and patient readers, as well as a way of me being able to build up my writing muscles again (like the literary variant of couch to 5k!) So, here we go, welcome to Culture Bites #1.

Film: Paddington in Peru (Out now)

It feels wrong to write the words ‘Paddington’ and ‘perfectly fine’ in the same sentence, and yet… The third in the series, and the first not directed by Paul King, Paddington in Peru follows the British sitcom tradition of packing off the central ensemble to a foreign country for an adventure – in this case, trying to find Paddington’s beloved Aunt Lucy who has gone missing in the Peruvian jungle. There’s some nice moments, and we get to see the characters we love doing the things we love about them (aside from Mrs Brown now looking like Emily Mortimer rather than Sally Hawkins). But those central comedic moments (the escalator, the toothbrushing, barbers, Knuckles – to name but a few) just aren’t there. Whilst the jungle adventure is entertaining, it doesn’t provide the joy or laughter that we get from the community of Windsor Gardens. It’s not Paddington 2, but then, really, few things are. [3.5/5 stars]

Film: Conclave (Out November 29th)

Sometimes you just want to watch actors act their socks off. Ralph Fiennes. Stanley Tucci. John Lithgow. All three provide exceptional performances in this drama set during a papal conclave to elect the next pope, Fiennes is the man in charge – overseeing proceedings whilst also investigating the secrets and scandals that surround the candidates. The cinematic equivalent of sitting in a comfy leather tub chair, with a whisky on the rocks in one hand and a cigar in the other, a well-crafted drama with thriller and mystery elements. Entertaining, suspenseful and thought-provoking. [4/5 stars]

Book: So Thrilled For You by Holly Bourne (Out January 16th 2025)

Few authors write millennial women as beliveably and authentically as Holly Bourne. So Thrilled For You is no exceptional, alternating between the viewpoints of four very different women. Friends since university, nearly a decade on they are growing apart for a multitude of reasons – a prevailing one being how women in their 30s become judged then defined by their decisions over motherhood (to have or not, the choices made over birth and childrearing, or what if having them can’t happen for reasons beyond their control). An essential read to encourage and build empathy when we oft are oblivious to so many of these issues if we don’t directly experience them. A powerful and bittersweet wonder of a book. [5/5 stars]

Theatre: Dr Strangelove (Running until January 25th 2025)

To quote Dr Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park, ‘Just because we could doesn’t mean we should.’ With Stanley Kubrick’s Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb having existed since 1964, did we really need a stage show version of it? Having seen it, the answer is – sort of, not really? Directed by Armando Iannucci, there really isn’t all that much here that is different to the film version. If anything, considering it’s an Iannucci vehicle, you’d expect the dialogue to be even crisper than what we actually get. And, considering all that is going on in the world right now, simply recreating the film goes to show just how timeless the film is and how stupid humanity is for seemingly using it as a handbook rather than a lesson. The USP of seeing this adaptation is Steve Coogan’s performance as 4 separate roles, à la Peter Sellers in the film. They’re strong performances, each character distinctive and well directed to allow for these multiple simultaneous appearances. Whilst there’s style and flair, it all feels a bit safe and reliant on star power. [4/5 stars]

TV: Say Nothing (Out now, on Disney+)

Disney+ continue to be making a name for themselves with some stellar tv. After last month’s sweet and saucy Rivals, we’ve got this exceptional and provocative drama. A 9-episode series, based on the 2019 book ‘Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland’, we learn about the lives of a group of people growing up in Belfast in the 1970s-90s – courtesy of a frame narrative of interviews that were conducted by Boston College Tapes, also known as the Belfast Project, were recordings of former IRA members discussing their involvement in the Troubles. The result is a compelling drama that features representation of the Troubles that we have never seen before; a powerful rumination on the reckoning of conflict trauma. Lola Petticrew and Hazel Doupe are extraordinary as the radicalised teen girls at the centre, as is Anthony Boyle (one of the breakout stars of Apple’s Masters of The Air) and Rory Kinnear continues to be one of the finest additions you can get to a show (if you’ve not seen The Diplomat, rectify that immediately!!!). This isn’t just a much-needed history lesson, this a revealing and exposing examination of an under-assessed part of recent history.

[5/5 stars]

(YAY! I’ve written something! My first something in MONTHS! If you made it this far, liked what you read and would like me to do more, please message me and let me know!)

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

Posted on May 23, 2024 by Charlotte_Sometimes

‘There will always be war.’

There are already many 5 star reviews of this film. There will undoubtedly be many more. This will not be one of them. In fact, this review will reflect on the fact that maybe the film was in fact slightly disappointing or may have been a victim of incredibly high expectations. Mad Max: Fury Road is a wonder, a high-octane adrenaline rush and a near pitch-perfect action film (as written 9 years ago on this very blog). This is a very different kettle of fish.

Whilst Fury Road is told over three days, its prequel covers 15 years – the story of how Furiosa was pulled out of paradise and ended up working for the tyrannical Immortan Joe. Already we have one big old problem, a symptom of prequel-itius. If you’ve seen Fury Road already, you know that Furoisa will survive whatever comes her way here. Although Fury Road thrived on giving little details about its characters, we do know enough key points that we expect to make an appearance here. Already that dulls the stakes that made Fury Road such a powerhouse.

That’s compounded by the storytelling approach. Using a five-act structure, this is an epic origin saga of her character made up of key moments within those 15 years. These are hugely impressive set pieces, with lots of driving back and forth in-between. The result is a different kind of tension, a prolonged buzz rather than the punch to the face we got with Fury Road. It also gets a tad repetitive in this regard, especially her run-ins with Chris Hemsworth‘s Dr. Dementus. Hemsworth is clearly having a whale of the time in a role, exercising both is comedy and dramatic chops but these exchanges get increasingly farcical they almost resemble a Wile E. Coyote vs the Road Runner sketch. It’s not helped that these feel stretched out over the film’s overlong 148 minute runtime, which feels baggy in comparison to the taut 2 hours of Fury Road.

When the film works, though, it really does soar. The world continues to be as immersive as we have come to expect from writer-director George Miller. It’s impeccably created, shot and edited – feeling all too plausible in a multitude of ways. The characters who reside within it continue to be unique and grotesque – their stories told through such minute and precise details, from costume to mannerisms. Anya Taylor-Joy epitomises this, successfully taking on the role from Charlize Theron. With little dialogue, so much of her performance is reliant on expression – particularly with her eyes – and she provides a stellar performance. Her scenes with Tom Burke are some of the film’s standouts, their quietly building interplay a joy to watch – as is seeing Burke finally get the chance at the big screen that he has long deserved. Their sequences also highlight the fact the tonal shift between this film and its predecessor, the character study is the forefront that drives the action.

Whilst often exhilarating and with some impeccable action sequences, the whole affair feels a tad bloated and – at times – a little dull. Less furious onslaught and rather mild fury with a side of pontification.

[3.5/5 stars]

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga is in UK cinemas from Friday 24th May.

The Garfield Movie

Posted on May 22, 2024 by Charlotte_Sometimes

‘I apologize in advance.’

Since his first print debut in 1976, Garfield has had 3 feature films. Two of them were not particularly good, but at least they featured Bill Murray as Garfield and therefore accurately captured the jaded ennui of the beloved ginger cat. This film is not very good – in fact it is very, very bad – and stars Chris Pratt as Garfield. He is woefully miscast in the role, essentially playing a variant of himself – a Pratt in cat’s clothing. After last year’s The Super Mario Bros. Movie, it’s hard not to wonder how and why he keeps being given these roles. It’s not the case that he’s ill-suited to animation, The Lego Movie films more than prove that he’s got the chops and voice for it. Simply put,. he is not Garfield. As Andy Dwyer in Parks & Recreation, he came to sort of close-ish to it. But just because he talks about hating Mondays (because bad things happen to him on Mondays – a hugely inaccurate interpretation of Garfield mythology) and eats lots of food, that does not make Garfield. There’s a lot of dog energy about Pratt’s take on the role, pitching Garfield as lazy rather than existentially weary.

It’s not helped by the fact the entire plot of the film is so far removed from a Garfield story that it makes the whole enterprise feel like an IP swindle to get bums on seats. The story is a crime caper, with Garfield barely in the house with minimal interactions with Jon (Nicholas Hoult) and with Odie (a huge waste of Harvey Guillén) simply in reacting sidekick mode. Instead the focus is on Garfield’s dynamics with his father, Vic (Samuel L. Jackson – who spends the entire film seemingly try to hide the fact it’s Samuel L. Jackson with some *interesting* vocal choices). Garfield breaks the fourth wall to give us a prologue, his back story of how he was abandoned by his father and adopted by Jon. There is so much product placement within this single sequence alone that it is unseemly.

Unsurprisingly, Vic returns to Garfield’s life several years later, when our story ‘starts’ (if, it ever does in fact ‘start’). Their reunion is triggered by some incredibly contrived and convoluted scheming by antagonist Jinx (Hannah Waddingham – I’m not angry about the poor quality of the material she’s given her, just disappointed) involving stealing lots of milk. Somehow a Bull called Otto (Ving Rhames) gets involved because he wants to be reunited with his beloved. Garfield must work through his trauma and with his father to save the day, on hand to deliver the dry and pithy comments we would expect from him.

Except the dialogue has no pith, or wit, or warmth and the only reason it could be described as dry is because it is so lacking at evoking a single spark of joy or laughter. Tumbleweeds could have rolled through the cinema screen, such was the shortage of laughs at the multimedia family screening. Never have so few laughs been emitted at a multimedia family screening, thus inadvertently disproving the myth that kids will find anything funny.

The film also makes the fatal flaw of trying to be funny and knowing to adults by making those aggravating kind of jokes that are designed to go over kids heads – which is both patronising to adults and condescending to younger audience members. There’s jokes about fast food delivery apps, dating apps, hipsters, phonelines and anxiety – none of these land. The moment that really epitomised how tonally wrong and poorly conceived the entire film had been was a reunion and implied love scene soundtracked by Marvin Gaye’s ‘Let’s Get It On’. Words cannot define how baffling and ill-judged this sequence is, raising three key questions – ‘Who is this film for?’, ‘What on Earth has it got to do with Garfield?’ and ‘How can 101 minutes feel like 3 hours?!?’

A total misfire that’s even worse than you might think.

[1/5 stars]

The Garfield Movie is in UK cinemas from Friday 24th May.

The Passing Strange (Theatre review)

Posted on May 21, 2024 by Charlotte_Sometimes

‘Pain! Ego! Art!

The Young Vic continues to knock it out the park with another fresh & electric production. First performed on Broadway in 2008, acquiring 7 Tony nominations in the process, this is its UK premiere and it’s a definite must-see. We are greeted by Narrator (an electric Giles Terera – Hamilton, Blues For An Alabama Sky) who is accompanied by the Band and four backing actor-singers. He is here to narrate his musical journey as a lost youth swapping his middle-class L.A. upbringing for punk rock and protest in 1980s Amsterdam and Berlin.

What follows is 2 hours and 35 minutes (with a 20 minute interval) of an extraordinary musical show unlike pretty much anything else on the West End right now. It’s the self-referential narrative style of Hedwig & The Angry Inch meets rock, punk, soul & gospel. A love story and tribute to the power of music. Narrator is our guide through his past, always on stage, whilst Youth (Keenan Munn-Francis) plays his younger self. There’s recreations of key moments of his life, with Mother (Rachel Adedeji) and the various other figures who played influential roles, as Narrator commentates – at times wise with retrospection and remorse, at others proud & gleeful at what he achieved and how he became the person he is today.

Terera is made for the role. We immediately feel safe in his capable hands – trusting without restraint in our tour guide to his personal past. He drips with charisma, impossible to look away from as he watches his past – we’re desperate to know his thoughts and reactions. His voice is extraordinary, powerful and genre-blending. The pace of the show is also fascinating. To paraphrase Whiplash, it both rushes and drags – feeling like an accurate reflection both of life and recalling its key moments. Munn-Francis is delightful as his younger self, mannerisms echo between both actors as we gradually see how Youth becomes Narrator. The band blow the both doors and roof off, they are always on the stage (à la Hadestown) and get to partake in proceedings in various subtle and not-so subtle ways.

A joyously sprawling concert, with heart and jokes and soul, this show is a very welcome wonder.

[4/5 stars]

The Passing Strange is at the Young Vic until Saturday 6th July.

IF

Posted on May 20, 2024 by Charlotte_Sometimes

‘One day, It’s going to make a hell of a story.’

A personal project for writer-director John Krasinski, nearly two decades in the making, IF (short for Imaginary Friends) is the story of Bea (Cailey Fleming). She’s in New York for the summer, as her father (Krasinski) receives medical treatment. It’s déjà vu for Bea, the same thing happened a few years ago when her mother died of cancer. Encouraged by her father to make the most of the summer, she finds herself able to see IFs who have long-since been forgotten by their human friends. And so she decides to work with Cal (Ryan Reynolds), Blossom (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) and Blue (Steve Carell) to run an adoption agency.

Ultimately, IF feels very admirable and sweet but also overloaded yet slight. Fleming is wonderful in the lead role, definitely a young actor to watch – considering the high levels of CG, she’s naturalistic and believable. With a lot of emotional heavy-lifting to do, she’s subtle and expressive – emoting hugely with her eyes, almost reminiscent of a younger Saoirse Ronan. The voicecast of the IFs is insane –

The biggest problem the film faces is it’s story, or relative lack therefore of. There are no stakes and no urgency propelling things along, the IFs are at risk of disappearing if they don’t find a human friend. Sort of? Maybe? At undisclosed future time? It’s undefined, as is much of the film’s plot points and overall mythology. Lots of things are underdeveloped and unexplained, which become a huge barrier to emotionally investing into proceedings. Whilst there’s some sweet set pieces, they try and throw everything at it to make it stick, making the film little more than a sum of its parts.

Undercooked yet overbaked, it’s not fast-paced enough for kids nor witty enough for adults.

[3/5 stars]

IF is in UK cinemas now.

Hoard

Posted on May 18, 2024 by Charlotte_Sometimes

‘You’re a funny little biscuit’

Few films are this sensory and results in such a visceral film experience. The story of a teenage girl (Saura Lightfoot-Leon), her childhood with her hoarding mother (Hayley Squires) and her problematic entanglement with an older man (Joseph Quinn) in the present day, evokes all of the senses – from the tactile touch of another person to the accidentally groped slime from under a stack of rubbish to the prevailing smell of waste that hovers of the film itself. Every sense is called upon to convey the sense of grief that weighs upon Maria, the loneliness that prevails within her and that, upon meeting Quinn’s binman Michael, is no longer something she can ignore and repress.

Within Michael, a previous resident of her foster mother (Samantha Spiro, who is fantastic and wonderful to watch as a positive representation of foster parenting), there is a similar darkness and their meeting is something alike kindred spirts. But what follows isn’t a love story, it’s a consumption rooted in the animalistic – of no-holes-bared feeling, where the act of finally being perceived results in an omnipresent feeling of danger & uncertainty. It’s extraordinarily depicted due to the performances, with Lightfoot-Leon’s Maria being unknowable to the point of almost mythical – physically present but emotionally distant to all but an appointed few. Michael is almost twice Maria’s age, which could have been depicted in a certain near-expected way in terms of power dynamics. Instead Quinn’s Michael is a multitude of grey, part-hero and part-distress. A soon-to-be father, there’s a sense that he’s torn between rescuing Maria and wanting to be rescued from the parental role that shortly awaits him.

Writer-director Luna Carmoon’s script depicts their dynamics with such tender brutality, it’s somehow both matter-of-fact yet ultimately incomprehensible. Like the film overall, a blend of British realism with a strain of either sublime or surreal that is apparent within both Charlotte Wells’ Aftersun (currently available on BBC iPlayer) and Charlotte Regan’s Scrapper (BFI Player). The trio of films not only share white-boy-of-the-month (Paul Mescal and Harris Dickinson respectively) but they are also bittersweet reflections of parental relationships, of figures who clearly love their children but have an internalised barrier that distorts their relationship with their child and, quite possibly, the adult they will become.

A hauntingly vivid mediation on love, loss and longing.

[4/5 stars]

Hoard is in UK cinemas now.

Stream On #21

Posted on April 1, 2024 by Charlotte_Sometimes

Another week, another set of 5 top tips to get steaming.

Still not entertained? Try a previous edition of Stream On: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20.

STEVE! (martin) a documentary in 2 pieces (Apple TV+ – 90 x 2 mins )

One of the best celebrity documentaries we’ve seen in ages, with part one focusing on ‘Then’ – Steve Martin’s comedy career – and ‘Now’ – an interweaving of his film career and his personal life. A perfectly balanced blend exploring his professional and personal life, a wondrous reminder of a truly talented man.

Renegade Nell (Disney+ – 8 x 45 mins)

Sally Wainwright‘s passion project is an unexpected and fascinating choice, following a quick-witted and courageous young woman framed for murder unexpectedly ((Louisa Harland) becomes the most notorious outlaw in 18th-century England. When a magical spirit called Billy (Nick Mohammed) appears, Nell realizes her destiny is bigger than she ever imagined.

A Gentleman in Moscow (Paramount+ – 8 x 60 mins)

A Russian aristocrat (Ewan McGregor) is spared from death and placed on house arrest while the Bolshevik Revolution plays out before him.

Barbie (SKY/NOW – 8 x 60 mins)

To live in Barbie Land is to be a perfect being in a perfect place. Unless you have a full-on existential crisis. Or you’re a Ken. My review here.

Big Mood (Channel 4 – 6 x 60 mins)

I watched all 6 episodes in one go, in case you needed that insight into how good this show is. Best friends Maggie (Nicola Coughlan) and Eddie (Lydia West) have lived in each other’s pockets for 10 years, through thick, thin. But with the rest of their lives looming, and Maggie’s bipolar disorder making an unwelcome return, Maggie and Eddie’s relationship faces the future. One of the best looks at friendship in your 30s and an incredibly thoughtful, realistic and no-holes-barred look at mental health.